This week in our First Comes Love series, we are learning about the REALITY of marriage. Whether you're married already, single and hope to be married one day, or if you are dating now, the reality is that everyone has some great expectation out of marriage. The truth is, first comes love... then comes marriage... and often, then comes trouble! However, we know that many of these troubles actually stem from a lack of understanding of how men and women are wired. The secret? Men and women are different!
In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus taught on the topic of marriage. In these verses, he is very clear that men and women are made different - male and female. They're physically different...emotionally different... and even the way God wired their brains is different. In fact, you can say a man's brain looks like a waffle. It's made up of tiny boxes for everything in his world - His job, a box for the car, for the kids, for his wife. A University of Pennsylvania study even says that men have a "nothing" box - so they can literally think about nothing for periods of time! This is inconceivable for women.
When it comes to the ladies, you could say they have spaghetti brains - Everything is connected to everything! In fact, all these noodles are connected by the secret sauce of emotion... that's what weaves everything together! If you've ever wondered why women have such good memories, this is why. In her world, nothing is simple...It's all connected.
You know, the ways men and women think differently is rooted in single-tasking and multi-tasking. In our communication with the opposite sex, this tends to create tensions and misunderstandings. See, many couples come into marriage expecting their soul mate to be a mirror image... and when they don't meet these expectations, they wonder if they made a mistake. If that's you and your spouse, you didn't make a mistake: God designed it this way! In marriage, you're going to have to learn to love somebody who doesn't share your same strengths. You are going to have to learn to live with and LOVE their weaknesses - and that requires Christ. You need Christ Jesus' supernatural love, patience and sacrifice in a Christ-centered marriage.
Biblical marriage is an unconditional commitment to the other. It's more about holiness than it is about happiness. Biblical marriage is a covenant promise, where two different people come together as one. You know what this is a picture of? Jesus' relationship with you! See, the Bible says we are the Bride of Christ - and in our sin and weaknesses, Christ Jesus laid down His life for you!
So, what does this mean for marriage? Men, you're supposed to love your wife the way Christ loved the Church and died for her. Practically speaking, waffles, you need to learn to listen to spaghetti. And Spaghettis, you need to be ok with repeating yourself sometimes to waffles. When the two become one in marriage, you get waffle-ghetti... and while this doesn't go together on any other menu, in God's kitchen they are perfectly paired. The two become one in marriage, and that's how God designed it!