What was the worst fight you’ve ever had with someone? Could be a spouse, sibling, parent or co-worker? Were you in the right? How did you resolve it? If you were unable to resolve it, are you still in communication with this person? Why or why not?
Pastor Nithin was talking about the three phases in a relationship. What phase are you in right now?
Pastor Nithin shared three commitments to handle conflict.
- I will Talk, Not Walk.
- Even When it’s Tough, I will be Tender.
- I will Forgive as I’ve been Forgiven.
Which of these three do you have the hardest time doing? Why is that?
Apply the Bible
Read Matthew 5: 21-26.
[Q] Who are the people subject to judgement in this passage?
[Q] Verse 22 says, “But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.” Does anyone know what “Raca” means?
[Q] Why would Jesus say that if someone used the term ‘Raca’ be answerable in court?
[Q] Compare the Matthew 5 passage with Ephesians 4:26 which says in your anger do not sin. What do you think the distinction?
[Q] Read James 3:1-12. James talks about Taming the Tongue. How does this relate to Matthew 5 & 18 and conflict in relationships?
[Q] Is there anyone that you need to make things right with? What keeps you from making things right? How can broken relationships impede our worship?
[Q] In this passage, Jesus introduces us the entire process where we can resolve conflict. What is the process the Jesus outlines in how to resolve conflict?
[Q] Often we are tempted when in conflict with someone to talk with others about it rather than to the person. This is called triangulation. Why is this a bad strategy? Has this happened to you? How did it feel? Have you done this in certain situations? How did it resolve? How can you avoid this?
[Q] Why is important to try to resolve things one on one before taking things to a larger group?
[Q] Can you share an example with the group where this has worked for you? Or if you tried this method and it didn’t work. If you never used this method, how have you normally handled conflict?
Since the topic of the week is conflict in relationships. Go around and ask your group how we can pray over conflict situations they themselves are going through or people they know who are experiencing conflict. After everyone shares, have the group pray for the person on their right if they feel comfortable doing so.
Chance to Serve
Consider serving during Parents Night Out. This event is hosted once a month at our Mountainside and Parsippany campuses. During this event parents can drop their kids off for three hours of child care. Take the time to help bless our special needs parents. Serve on your own or serve with your group. For other opportunities check out the Liquid serve site.
After James talks about Taming the Tongue and the passage below on Conflict, He talks about wisdom. Have someone read James 3: 13-18.
[Q] Where does Godly wisdom come from? How is it different than worldly wisdom?
Read James 4: 1-3. James is asking the question of what causes conflict. In today’s message, Pastor Nithin touched on two topics Unmet Expectations and self-centeredness. How does James affirm these root causes and expand them?
What does covetousness look like in your life? How can this be deadly for a believer?
What is the reason why we don’t receive answers to our prayers?
How can we examine whether our motives are God honoring or honor our own pleasure?