As we continue our Emotionally Healthy Spirituality series this Fall, this week we're excited to share 5 tips to help you learn how to resolve conflict in an emotionally healthy and spiritually mature way. It takes intentional work to mature into a healthier way of processing and handling our emotions. One of the main indicators of our emotional health is how we handle conflict. Fortunately, God’s word provides wisdom to help us resolve conflict with those around us - whether it be family, friends, colleagues or even your kids.
RESOLVING CONFLICT IN AN EMOTIONALLY MATURE WAY
Where are you experiencing conflict in your life? Maybe you're in a family feud or there's tension with a business partner. As you read through our 5 tips for resolving conflict, make it personal. Then, take action to repair or restore that relationship.
1: MAKE THE FIRST MOVE
First, don't wait to make the first move. Ask God to give you the courage to initiate conflict resolution. Hold a peace conference! Matthew 5:23-24 tell us this: "If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that someone has something against you...First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." This means that reconciliation takes priority over worship! God wants you to make every effort to urgently get right in relationship with those around you. Then, come and worship him.
2: START WITH WHAT'S YOUR FAULT
When you hold your peace conference, don't start with what the other person did wrong. Instead, start by humbly confessing your part. Even if the conflict was 99% the other person's fault, you can always find something to confess or something you could have done better. Refrain from attacking or blaming the other person. This is an opportunity for growth, as mature adults attempt to resolve conflict instead of dissolving relationships.
3: CONFESS YOUR BLIND SPOTS
When you go to resolve conflict, one important thing to identify is your blindspots. If you don't know what these are, ask the other person - they will tell you! While it's a vulnerable question to ask, if you listen with a humble heart, it will help you grow in maturity and self-awareness.
4: WRAP THE TRUTH IN LOVE
After confessing your blind spots, it's time to share the truth. However, it's important here to remember Ephesians 4:15, which tells us to "Speak the truth in love..." This means that it's not just what you say, but how you say it that matters.
5: FOCUS ON RECONCILIATION, NOT RESOLUTION
Last but certainly not least, when you're experiencing conflict with someone, it's important to focus on reconciliation instead of resolution. Resolution is about resolving every disagreement. The truth is, there are just some things in your family or on your team at work that you may never agree on. We're all different - but we can learn to disagree without being disagreeable.
When we're emotionally mature, we can still love and embrace those we face conflict with. That's one of the most important markers of becoming an emotionally mature adult. When it comes to conflict, fix your focus on the relationship and leave the outcome with God.
TAKING YOUR NEXT STEP
On the Cross, Jesus built a bridge to repair our relationship with God. Now, God calls you to do that with others. Do you need to resolve conflict in some area of your life this week? We pray that these five tips will help you along the way.
If you have never made peace with God or if you are distant from God, we encourage you to ask Jesus to become your Lord and Savior. The truth is, you need peace WITH God to have the peace OF God in your life.
To make peace with God, we encourage you to pray this prayer in your heart: Jesus, I admit I’ve made mistakes and I need your forgiveness. I’ve been emotionally immature-- acting like I was God, and I’m sorry. I humbly ask you to save me. Jesus, thank you for dying on the Cross for my sins-- I ask you to come into my life and I ask your Spirit to make me mature like Jesus. Fill me with your peace and your love so I can love others like you do.
As you learn how to develop an Emotionally Healthy Spirituality in your life and relationships, we pray the Holy Spirit will spark a spiritual revolution of healing in your life and home. To continue learning, check out the below additional content from Liquid Church:
- PRAYER: No matter what you’re facing, we’d love to pray with you. In fact, we have a dedicated Prayer Team who is ready to lift your prayers to God throughout the week. Click here to submit your prayer request online - you should expect a response within 24-48 hours.
- ARTICLE: How To Develop Rhythms Of Rest - In an American culture of workaholism and passionate drive for success, developing a rhythm of rest is more important than ever. Click here to read the article on The Liquid Blog.
- ARTICLE: Dealing With Grief As A Christian - Grief takes on many forms, and losses are much more than just when we lose someone we love. To learn how to grieve in a spiritually healthy way, click here to read the article on The Liquid Blog.