Nick Kile has been a long time attendee of our Liquid Church Middlesex County Campus. Recently, Nick shared that he has struggled with a deep addiction to marijuana, which he had used daily for 18 years. He felt the Lord calling him to stop using marijuana immediately and responded to the Lord’s call. With the Spirit’s help, alongside coaching and counseling, Nick has not only stopped smoking marijuana, but he has been freed from a deep seated anxiety that has been a vice for the past 14+ years, as well. This is Nick's Life After Addiction Story.
WHAT WAS YOUR INTRODUCTION TO MARIJUANA?
I was introduced to marijuana at the young age of 14. While I didn't get high in that first attempt, it sparked my interest. When I started getting high on marijuana, I felt so paranoid, like I had no control. I don't know what made me start doing it again after that horrible first experience, but I did and soon after, it just became something I did everyday. Smoking turned into an addiction around my sophomore or junior year of high school. Using marijuana was socially acceptable throughout my high school years, and I didn't recognize my marijuana use as an addiction at the time. I made up so many excuses of why I should keep smoking: It made me relaxed, it's what all my friends did, it was easy to get. While I had some pushback from my family, it wasn't enough incentive for me to quit.
After high school, no matter what stage of life I was in, I would always migrate to people who smoked. I even got a medical marijuana card from my doctor, which helped me get off of a medication I was using to manage my anxiety. But with that card, my addiction to marijuana became worse, since it was much easier to obtain legally. With that, my anxiety actually got worse, too. When I smoked, I would feel less anxious in the moment, but that would only last 30 minutes to an hour. Overall, my addiction had a negative impact on my life. I was dependent on it now. While I had a relationship with God for a long time, I was using marijuana to suppress a lot of things in my life instead of running to God and having a better relationship with Him.
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE AFTER ADDICTION LIKE NOW?
Since I quit marijuana two months ago, my relationship with God has already gotten so much stronger. I have felt convicted for a long time that weed smoking wasn't for me. In fact, I’ve thrown it out many times, but I would go back and get it later. I finally got to a point where I didn't want to do this fight on my own anymore, and I realized I really needed to give it to God. I thought of the story of Daniel’s friends in the fiery furnace, and how God was there with them in the fire. That resonated with me as I was going through withdrawals from marijuana. At that time, I felt like I was literally going through a personal hell, and I surrendered my battle with addiction to God.
When I took the step to quit, I needed people to hold me accountable. I told my family, friends from church, and Pastor Ernie from our Middlesex County Campus. Pastor Ernie prayed with me for the Holy Spirit to heal me - and that week, I felt so much less anxiety. Since then, I've basically had no anxiety! This is huge, since anxiety was a daily battle for much of my life. I've experienced so much support in my battle with anxiety and marijuana addiction from Pastor Ernie, my parents, my sister, my coach and others from the church.
When I quit marijuana, so many other things in my life have gotten better, too. For example, my relationship with my wife and kids. I've been married for 8 years, and my wife sees a huge change in my personality! I also have a 4 year old and a 1 year old. I spend a lot more time with my kids. I'm much happier, more available, and more willing to help around the house and take care of the kids. Financially, I’m excited to put my family first - as I was previously spending $350 a month on marijuana. Now, I’m giving back to my family instead of using that money for myself, which is huge. I also have such a positive outlook now - I'm no longer worried about having a panic attack from my anxiety, and I'm actually reading my Bible and journaling about my prayers. Even at work, I pray for those around me.
HOW DO YOU SEE GOD OFFERING YOU HOPE IN THE HEARTACHE?
I know I’m still early in the process of my recovery, but I know I’m going to be leaning on God and not depending on Earthly things. I want to continue to share my story and encourage people who are facing what I’ve gone through. I don’t want to shy away from what God has been working on in my life. As I’ve been following God to share my story with those around me, I’m trusting that He will do more miraculous things for His children. I’m so encouraged by what God’s done so far, and I can’t wait to see what else He is going to do on this journey.
If you were inspired by Nick's story of life after addiction, we encourage you to check out this additional content from Liquid Church:
- Easter At Liquid: Are you hungry for hope? God promises there is hope after the heartache. This Easter, we invite you to join us for one of our 3 ways to worship - learn more & view service times at LiquidChurch.com/Easter.
- ARTICLE: Life After Loss - Joel lost his father at a young age and experienced a resurgence of grief during the pandemic. Click here to read Joel's story of Life After Loss.