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Owning Your Role In A Conflict

Liquid Church
Feb 11, 2022

We can all probably think of a person we were once close with, but a wrinkle or rift in the relationship caused you to lose touch. Conflict hurt the relationship and you're no longer close or feel you can speak openly with that person. How do you get to a place of real relational reconciliation?

2 Corinthians 5:18 (MSG) says this: "God uses us to persuade men and women to drop their differences and enter into God's work of making things right between them." When it comes to reconciliation, God is at work. Since Jesus reconciled those who believe in Him to God, He also gives us the power to reach out and repair relationships with those around you.


One way to take a step towards relational reconciliation is to make the first move. While it’s understandably hard to own your role in a conflict, the truth is, the most mature person makes that first move to humbly confess their part. This is hard for us because we all have some degree of self-righteousness in us.

Matthew 7:3 says "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in his eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" This verse shows us that it's easy to see the other person's part in a conflict and hard to see our own role. If you can't see your role in a conflict, we encourage you to pray a dangerous prayer: "Heavenly Father, please show me where I was at fault." Since God has reconciled you to Himself through the sacrifice of his son Jesus, you can boldly approach the Heavenly Father and ask him for guidance as you seek reconciliation in your relationships.


Next, as God opens your eyes to your part in a conflict, own up to it. Humbly confess your blind spots to both God and the person you are seeking reconciliation with. While self-righteousness is self-sabotage, by God's grace, self-awareness unlocks the door to reconciliation.

If you received Christ's offer of reconciliation through Jesus' life, death and resurrection, your relationship with God is renewed. You see, Jesus was blameless, innocent and righteous in every way. Yet, on the Cross, Jesus took 100% of the blame, shame and punishment for your sin. He made the first move when we were in conflict with God - and now it's your time to respond.

God wipes your slate clean of guilt and shame and puts a new spirit of forgiveness in your heart. So, you can confess what is in your heart and ask God to renew a right spirit within you.

What relationship in your life needs repair? We pray you will boldly make the first move and own your role in the conflict as you embark on your journey towards relationship rehab today!


To continue learning, check out the below related content and resources from Liquid Church:

  • ARTICLE: How To Repair A Relationship - Where do you start when a relationship needs repair? Click here to read on.
  • MESSAGE: Cancel Culture - When someone says something offensive, it's easy to get triggered. But Jesus models for us how to live in the tension. Click here to watch or listen.
  • ARTICLE: Interview- Empty Nesters On Keeping Love Alive. Mickey and Julissa Rodriguez share how they stay connected through the different seasons of their marriage. Click here to read on.